“Finish what you started.”
“Show some commitment.”

How often have those voices echoed in our heads while we’ve stayed in jobs or roles that slowly drain the life out of us—enduring what no longer fits simply because it’s what’s expected? On the outside we persevere; on the inside, we quietly unravel, our hearts crumpling in the corner.

We were recently forced to confront this truth when our youngest son, Ben, made the brave decision to let go of his lifelong dream of becoming a classical ballet dancer. It wasn’t the first time he had questioned his path. His year at Elmhurst Ballet School in Birmingham was marked by long stretches of misery, depression, and homesickness, and more than once he came close to walking away.

When he was offered a place at the prestigious Vaganova Ballet Academy in St Petersburg, we thought, This is it. Surely now he would soar, and quitting would never cross his mind again. But the euphoria was short-lived. The icy darkness of the long Russian winters soon settled not only over the landscape, but over his spirit too—an inner blizzard of despair and depression that he fought through with remarkable courage.

After a year and a half, Ben realised he needed to be honest—with himself, and with us. A Saturday matinee performance of The Nutcracker on the Mariinsky Theatre stage became his final bow. He quite literally pirouetted off the stage and headed straight to the airport that evening, flying home to Cape Town. He hasn’t danced since.

And that’s okay.

Because letting go of something that no longer feels right is a radically powerful act of self-love and trust. As his parents, we couldn’t be prouder. Walking away from something he’s done since the age of three doesn’t make him a failure—it makes him wise and brave. And in releasing that dream, he has created space. Space to breathe. Space to dream again.

“When you give yourself permission to leave what doesn’t feel right, you create the possibility of discovering what does.” — Laura Harris

Ben is still figuring out what comes next. But this journey has taught me so much too: the importance of making room for what truly fulfils me, for creative energy that can’t be forced or faked. Of honouring what lights me up—and knowing when it’s time to walk away, or take a leap of faith.